Puckleberry Vernacular
by psejhan
Summary: Puckleberry has a secret that's bad for their reputations. Up to Bad Reputation spoilers. Expandable and open to suggestions. May become M in future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Please read and review! I am open to suggestions and questions and bla bla. Also, I need encouragement. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 1

Puckleberry was a term that Noah Puckerman, resident Glee bad boy, self proclaimed glist numero uno, could not erase. It's just that the Adventures of Huckleberry Fin(Why the fuck is Hudson's name hve to be there?) just so happen he to be a book he's particularly fond of. No one knows that, shit, no one even knows he reads. There's a reason why Puck pays an unusual amount of attention to race in a bad sort of good way. Up to now though, he doesn't get racism in the society much. He just couldn't bring himself to listen in class, not like he normally did, ok, he never did, but the thought was just marauding his brain.

Puck was very careful with his lexicon, because it would be very bad to his reputation if people found out he was a bookworm. There was a reason why he understood Rachel way more than Finn, and that was his vocabulary and capacity to expand it via context clues and shit. Sure he had video games, but even bad boys had one of those days—you know, those days when you don't want to hear machine guns, or desperate screaming from the television. There were days when the world of literary just called upon his soul.

It was cheesy, and that was why he never told anyone.

Back to his original train of thought; Puckleberry. Did it just so happen that his last name, Puckerman, when mixed with her last name, Berry, was tantamount to Mark Twain genius? He had to give kudos to those geeks who coined the term—it's just so damned clever. Maybe if he knew which geek it was who coined Puckleberry, he'd be getting one less wedgie. Yes, Puck was willing to lay down his badassness for the genius, at least for a moment.

Puck needed to straighten out his thoughts. He was outside for heaven's sake, not in the comforts of his own home. If he keeps thinking such thoughts, a multisyllabic word may escape his lips and tarnish his fragile reputation. He's already in a tight situation with his Mohawk gone and being a baby daddy. Nonetheless, people should start to remember that he wasn't just a baby daddy, he was a DILF. A DILF, got that?

He really had to get those big words out of his mind before someone talks to him and he slips—that would be embarrassing. How about some guy thoughts here?

He was walking down the hall, on the way to the choir room when he spots Rachel heading toward it herself. Her hair was flowing around her like that dream he had of her, totally hot. Naturally, Puck's brain reeled into guy-mode, especially when Rachel's pen fell and she had to get it in her tiny pencil skirt. Rachel's legs are smokin' hot. Now that was the vernacular he needed. Vernacular? Shit. Are those pink panties I see? Lacey, nice. Yes, Puck was ready to face the world.

Rachel stood up carefully, her hand tightly grasping the stupid pen she just dropped. Actually, Rachel knew it wasn't the pen's fault. It was Puck's fault. Yes! It was his fault for walking toward her with those eyes—she knew those eyes, especially when they were checking him out. Damn you, Puck. Her motor senses dropped instantly when he smoldered her. It was inevitable, with his sultry, brown eyes, pouting full lips, awesome bone structure! It was really bewildering, even to Rachel, why the fuck she liked Finn more when this guy had guns, really sexy guns, and a whole lot more.

Maybe it was because Puck was a bitch. Cougars? Come on. Aren't their pussies dried up or something? Doesn't he know that oil based lubes can get you yeast infection?

No one knows that Rachel Berry had a very messed up, dirty, vulgar brain. Her mouth of course, was crystal clean just like the good reputation she tried so hard to tarnish. Truth of the matter was that Rachel was a good girl and a stupid music video did not change that fact. She wasn't really a good girl, but at least she was a manipulative prude. She learned from the best. Stupid Fin kissing her just to get her to go back to Glee club. At least Puck was sincere with his motive, which was to fuck a hot Jew of course.

Puck had riled her up, at least in her point of view so when he stops for her to go in first into the choir room, she feels disgusted and huffs into the room. No one's in the choir room yet, so she doesn't try to hide her annoyance and makes the seat screech against the marble floor when she sits down.

Puck is puzzled beyond what his face can express. His mouth has formed an asymmetrical gape, his nose is snarling, his brows are furrowed and his eyes are wide. The moment only lasts for a second, because Rachel looks at him apologetically.

Rachel's quickly seen the err of her ways. She was being a major diva-biatch since looking hot wasn't really a crime, and for all she knew, he was just looking at her. Anyway, she ought to clean up her words before she starts talking to him. Then again, why should he care if she wanted to be a diva-biatch? What if she was having a bad day? Wouldn't it be petty of him to take that personally? Is huffing really that rude? Or death glares?

"What's up your ass, Berry?" Puck is standing in front of her, hands in his pockets.

"I… I got slushied." Rachel lied, looking to the left subconsciously, like most liars.

"You're not wet." Puck's sat down next to her and was poking her sweater's right sleeve.

Rachel twisted to get her arm out of Puck's poking range and raised a brow at him. Rachel wanted to say something dirty and snappy like, "not yet" but of course she didn't. Rachel's brain and Rachel's mouth, contrary to popular belief, do not always act simultaneously. "I always have a fresh set in my bag. Always have since third day after you first slushied me in freshman year."

"How ingenious," Puck says quietly, more to himself than to Rachel. But Rachel heard it and is looking at him all funny—crazy tarsier eyed shit.

"Ingenious?" saucer-eyed Rachel asked."What the fuck?"

"Fuck?" saucer-eyed Puck asked back, amazed by the bad word that had recently deflowered Rachel's mouth. Oh, that was naughty, points to Puckerone on that one.

"Fuck." Rachel lets out, realizing she just cussed with her own voice in front of someone.

Just when Puck's about to say "let's forget about it", the rest of Glee comes rushing into the choir room.

All he could hope for was that they were even, and she didn't feel a compulsion to tell on him and his sexy but secretly poetic mouth. What was up in Rachel Berry's hot ass? Did this mean that Puckleberry was hopeless and all she could really for him was loathing. He wasn't even doing anything and she was all peculiar bitchy at him. What the hell is wrong with the world? Give Puckleberry a chance.

"Noah, Noah." Mr. Schuester called but Puck's mind was somewhere else. "Puck! Very enthusiastic, I see."

Finally, Puck's reverie was broken but it wasn't because Mr. Schuester was almost yelling but because he misheard Mr Schue saying, "Puckleberry enthusiastic, I see." So he replied, "Huh? Puckleberry?"

So what do you think? Should I continue? What do you think is going to happen? Please, please review. XD


	2. Chapter 2

**Puckleberry Vernacular **

_Dearest readers,_

_After COMMENTING please visit this site and help me vote: __http://wwwDOTeonlineDOTcom/uberblog/b155378_glee_love_debate_should_rachel_be_withDOThtml__ because we know that there are twice the number of fanfics for Puck and Rachel than Rachel and Finn. Puckleberry rules._

_I would love to point out to everyone who misuses the word BREATH, that when used as a verb it become "breathe". You CANNOT, under no circumstances "breath out" because you "breathe out". Ok? Breath is a NOUN. _

_This is __**after Laryngitis**__, hehe. I'm sorry for that mistake! Thanks for pointing it out mythologyrulz! _

_Thank you!_

_Enjoy!_

**CHAPTER 2**

An eerie, awkward, pregnant silence enveloped the whole room, which possibly was the most clichéd situation Puck has ever been in.

After three seconds of the aforementioned silence, everyone was boisterously laughing—except for Rachel, Quinn, Santana, Finn, Jesse and him. Wait, that was half of Glee club already, right? Yeah, Puckleberry was going to have a rough patch with this big of a mess.

There's the absurdly talented Jesse(who sings like a male Kurt, by the way, which means that he is a homosexual as well) who Rachel was still sending guilty looks at. It really seems like she really was guilty about those moments in her bedroom when they nearly kissed which was good, because it meant that she gave those moments serious pondering and depth. Jesse is like Rachel's Romeo, you know, originally from the dark side though Puck is convinced that he still is from Hades.

There's Quinn, does he even have to start?

There's Finn—her fairy tale Prince charming, the never MIA archetype who is most of the time a better choice than him… a DILF. He's just not relationship material, you know? But Rachel hasn't seen that side of him yet, has he? All he's been to her when they were "slumming" was amazing, sweet, sensitive—like the man in his brain except with smaller words. He still can't bring out the big words in the real world, you know. Word may spread.

There's Santana, who's like the by-product of his extreme hotness and excellence in all matters referring to Puck-Fuck. Who can blame the girl? It was weird though, why she was so hung up on him when she is obviously totally in love with Brittany. Maybe Puck was an excuse, a front, a façade, to cover up the reality that she did not dig boys. Actually, it's not that she didn't dig boys, because let's face it, if she didn't then she wouldn't have been enjoying herself too much with him. Anyway, Puck could turn any woman straight and now it's biting him back in the ass—or about to anyway.

Then there was him, looking at Rachel with confused eyes.

There were a lot of things that Rachel and Puck had in common, besides being hot Jews. Even if Puck admits that being a hot Jew had its charm, he wasn't really sure if Rachel was really into that reasoning. Every time he's said it, it seemed she didn't really consider—at least not the way he's as engorged into their ethnicity but hey, who was he to talk? He copulated with Santana, who was Latina (right?); he dated Mercedes, who was black(or dark skinned? Whatever); and impregnated Quinn, who was baby steps away from becoming Barbie.

Rachel is obsessed with building and protecting a good reputation—though there was certainly a lot to build but really nothing. She's done that absolutely perfectly the last time. For heaven's sake, he moved the glist out of her locker, and what did she do? She shoved the whole thing on everyone's faces with her silly little project. Now that was the bull that really hit him and not the "I'm so jealous," because it was actually, pretty badass in a Rachel-esque kind of way. The whole Mercedes thing wasn't very different, and thus, who was he to judge?

To tell you the truth, it seems that the whole Glee club is enamored with the prospect of being popular. There's Finn and Quinn in shades. There's him and Berry trying to be badass or something. There's Kurt and Mercedes in the cheerios. There's Santana craving to be the head cheerios; Brittany seems to be just enjoying the ride or at least borrowing brain cells from her friend. Only Tina, Artie, Matt and Mike seemed to be aloof. Then again, Tina and Artie were dancing in the library. Matt and Mike though, what's up with those foils?

So, majority of the Glee club was obsessed with fame. What else did Puck have to offer?

He was a hot Jew. Wait, did he say that already? Hmm… Puckleberry. Isn't that term enough?

No, they weren't just obsessed with fame. They wanted to be a success. These kids around them just wanted the quirks, the "popularity credit card", but they—Rachel and him, they want it all. That's why being called a Lima loser was painful but hey, Christopher Moore did say that, "if the wise man always appears stupid, his failures do not disappoint, and his success gives pleasant surprise." Back to the point! He was being very Holden Caulfield here, with the endless digressing. Both of them wanted to leave Lima and get talent fees, be a success. They were taking their quest for fame to the next level and not simply conforming to the popularity contests that High School presented. Fortunately for him, he could juggle that quest along with all his badassness but she had to be a martyr for her dreams, going to one slushie to the next. Oh, but when desire burned in their guts, there was nothing stopping them. Passion. Puck was writing in his diary, those thoughts swarming in his mind. He'd kill anyone who accidentally opened the door on him right now. It would be like a "Me or you" survival kind of situation. He would die of the humiliation. If the slushie facial made his eye sting, then what more could this do? The only time he's going to be okay with people knowing he's a prolific writer is when it's officially his career and all they would be able to do is gape in awe. The truth of the matter was, _the bottom line,_ the only future truly viable for him was her and not just because it was practical; she was a Jew who wanted to get out of Lima. Having dated her for a unique week he had found out that she had the capability to send his heart thump like a very cheesy Jude Deveraux, to make his body tingle like a very sexy Anne Rice and to uplift his soul like a very inspiring Mitch Alboom. Then, after all that, after being so perfect for him, she says "Fuck". That was the last straw. It was obvious that Rachel Berrywas one BAMF perfectly concocted to be with him.

Rachel Berry's skin was burning even with her window open and her blanket thrown to the floor.

Puckleberry? Why did he say Puckleberry, damn it? It was probably her fault for telling him that. Actually, she had coined that motherfucking word. It just came you know, like that fucking slushie he gave to her, completely random while she was fucking singing in the shower.

Rachel was feeling very pissed at Puck who was being such a major pain in the ass by trying to seduce her yet again. But before she jumps into any more conclusions, there had to be some retrospect. Was he really seducing her? He was only eyefucking her and that was barely seducing—it was just male instinct. So he asked her about her bitchiness, but that didn't mean he was fucking concerned or trying to get into her pants. He was just being a human being damn it.

She wanted to think more to it. It was just like that. It's just that, no man as hot as Puck, fuck, has ever lusted for her before and it's making her return the favor. Puck made it hard not to think of him, not to think of his soft aplomb lips, his big beautiful brown eyes, his strong angular jaw, his smooth perfect skin, his pink, pouty lips, his nipple ring(which she simply noticed under his thin t-shirt in her bedroom and felt touching her when they were rolling around in bed) and, of course the size of what had pressed against her when she straddled him on her bed.

Puck made Rachel a cussing pervert and it was starting to get really scary. How can she have such a bizarre, strong attraction to Noah Puckerman when the earth shatters into slow mo when she sees Finn? Finn and Rachel should Fin. You know, fin? The ending credits for most old movies.

It just wasn't as simple as that. You can't stop hormones from gushing into your veins when someone so akin to fantasy comes jumping into your view. Finn reminded her of Prince Charming in the Shrek Franchise but with less egotism and more stupid. To be quite honest, Finn was a total dolt, a complete nincompoop who amazingly had leadership skills, like most politicians. Ah, but Finn was a nice guy, except when he decided to play her to get her to return to Glee, then when he cheated with Santana and Brittany while they were dating, then when he decided to break up with her like a total motherfucking, douche bag, asshole. But Finn had his moments, right? Like when he brought her to Sean or said those sweet words. He acted and sang for her music video as well—but Puck had longer scenes that required more uhmm, skin in a sexy thin, white wifebeater she just cannot take the image off of her head.

Sweet words, Finn had told her sweet words but Puck had actions on his side and weren't actions louder than words? While Puck chose football, Puck chose her. Puck helped her without the usual panties deal, too didn't he? The truth was, Finn should naturally help her. She gave him a job when he needed one, she gave him endless ego boosts, she prepared a picnic for him, and she told him about him not being the real baby daddy.

Baby daddy. She was pretty sure that Puck must have been seriously fucked up wasted when that happened. Just think about it, Puck had experience so he knew about rubber and all that shit. Then again, he was still a major ho for picking queen of the chastity ball who also just so happened to be his best friend's girl.

She should know that Puck is bad news, but it was the forbidden fruit syndrome nagging in her tummy. Have you seen Puck's guns? She said they were lovely, but the truth was they were smoking hot.

There was also the fact that Noah was finally asking her out when she was at least partly unattached. Partially since she was still on the rebound, freshly dumped by Glee's (quoting the other Glee members of course) newest douche bag. Maybe it was what attracted him to her since it is said that the number one thing to make a one more attractive is being unavailable. Honestly, Rachel didn't know what Puck liked about her because she wasn't exactly number one in the hot list. Also, according to the recent poll taken at McKinley's, she was currently number two on the Most Irritating list, number one being Jesse.

Did Noah really date her to make Quinn jealous? It would make no sense, to tell you the truth. Puck dating her would be good for Fuinn since he and her were basically the only ones that really threatened it. But maybe he did, in some poor demented, reverse psychology kind of way wanted to make Quinn jealous by saying, "Are you happy now?"

Noah was absurdly nice to her though, and that she could never take away. He was mean during their break up, but who could blame him? She confessed she was using him. He was hurt, and he seemed to hurt as if he'd been a victim—like he was earnest, honest in the relationship and he couldn't believe he was betrayed even with that much effort.

Noah. Noah missed his guns and even his theories about the Super Mario brothers because he got it. Nobody knew this, but she used to be in video games. She just recently quit, having convinced herself that Left4Dead,Final Fantasy and Time Crisis were only distractions to her true goals. In spite him being a badass, it didn't feel that way when she was with him. He was perfect up close, and that was absolutely weird. Puck was one of those rare ones. When Rachel saw Finn up close, it wasn't pretty and neither was the time when she saw Jesse.

But what if she was just another girl to him? That song for Mercedes was certainly more grand than hers with the band and all but she hadn't miss him saying "black _Jew" _and because of that crazy batshit she shivered. Then he picked her to be his partner for their number, hugging her with her hand entangled in his as they sang One, pressing against her bosom, leaning her back on his hard chest, she could almost melt. She was glad her voice didn't falter and her professionalism withstood.

Was Noah Puckerman really that obsessed with fame as the world claims him to be? Sure there was Mercedes who he dated for popularity(How did she know? She was psychic, duh. Oh, and also, because he went right back into being a bully without giving a flying fuck about Mercedes dumping him. He wasn't even hurt.), but when you think about it, there was that part of her that thought that maybe he had always wanted to try a fat chick like that guy in the Meet the Spartans movie.

It wasn't really important. What was important was that he's obviously more than what he seems to be. Oh, but fuckshit, when she heard him say "ingenious" that Noah Puckerman was more than what meets the eye. He's not just a jock, he really actually had mystery that he was hiding from the world and it made her ache for him like a wet pussy.

"Fuck you, Puck," she muttered into her pillow before falling asleep.

AN* PLEASE COMMENT! It's hard to update without REVIEWS because it depresses me. Please Review!


	3. Chapter 3

_Dear Readers,_

_I will try to focus on interactions from now on. Let's get the plot movin'_

_Do not expect blotches of lyrics splattered into the story because I'm just not into that. Written songs? Songs without music? Really? I'm sorry, but there will be none of that in here though it will be mentioned if they sing a significant song at Glee practice._

_Sorry for the typos, I'm just not used to my new lap top yet XD. _

_Please review so I could update. Getting less than 10 per chapter is very depressing for me because I'm an aspiring writer T_T. _

_Lovelots,_

_me_

**Puckleberry Vernacular**

**CHAPTER 3**

It was decided, Puck was pussy whipped without even getting to the pussy first.

It was early morning and Puck was driving to school all the while trying to think of a scheme to have Rachel in his arms, which felt very reminiscent to the Phantom plotting to get Christine. Damn it, he hated tragedies even if they are painfully beautiful. Fuck tragedies. He didn't want to live one.

Alas! There you go! The inspiration is from a tragedy! He should just sing to her Music of the Night and it would be sure to charm her. He'd choose David Cook's version or maybe he should take the Broadway version because she was so into that. Nah, better stick with the contemporaries—higher hit rate. So should he make it even grander than The Lady is a Tramp or go with the sanctity of the sweetness of Sweet Caroline. She really loved Sweet Caroline. Maybe she would sing with him this time.

He needed to practice. Maybe he'd sing to her tomorrow. Well, he was sure going to practice later that night.

On the way to the locker, he saw Krafowsky about to slushie Rachel while she was getting things from her locker. Puck made double time and kicked the back of Krafowsky's knees causing the guy to fall on his back like a pathetic piece of shit. "What the fuck Krafowsky?" He walked forward and kicked the guy's ribs for a double tap.

Puck realized his method of prevention had gone wrong the minute he looked at Rachel. Krafowsky had thrown the slushie while he was tumbling down his big white ass making his attempt to save Rachel futile. Actually, it seemed that his plan had backfired as Rachel was now looking at him with disdain in her eyes. Everyone who was passing by was now laughing, guffawing at Rachel.

"What the fuck, Noah? You just can't stand someone else slushie-ing me so you decided to fucking join in the fun?"

Rachel then took her bag from her locker and went stomping into the comfort room faster than he could say sorry. The bell rang and Noah knew that she was now officially doubly pissed at him because she would be missing her first subject.

He was feeling sorry for himself and even more ridiculously self pitying when Krafowsky pulled his ankle causing him to slip on the slushie and land knees first on the floor. Puck kicked hard to presumably where Krafowsky's fucking ugly head should be and stood up, limping a bit. He landed major kick to Krafowsky's ribs again just enough to bruise but not break—he didn't want to kill the guy, maybe just a bit.

He entered the girl's restroom, and breathed out a sigh of relief when only Rachel was in it. He could hear her struggle out of her wet outfit in one of the cubicles. Just then, the image flashed in his mind of Rachel wet and naked. Noah Puckerman, this is not the time.

He stood near the cubicle and she must have recognized his shoes because she grumbled something incoherent. "Look, Berry, I'm sorry. I was trying to stop Krafowsky from you know. I miscalculated. Is there anything that I could do?"

After a few moments, the door swung open, revealing Rachel hunching her back and her hair draped in front of her.

"Are you trying to scare me?" Puck asked just because it reminded him of Sadako.

"Why would I want to do that? My hair's got slushie and I don't want it to get on my dry clothes."

"Do you want me to help with your hair?"

"How are you going to do that?"

Puck took off his top shirt and started wrapping Rachel's hair with it.

"What are you doing?"

"Stand up straight. You're back is going to hurt in that position."

Rachel wondered why Puck was being nice and started believing the situation. Noah was actually honest that he wanted to help her right from the beginning. She was still very upset though. Slushies sting and Noah knows all about it.

Puck led her to the sink and got a nearby seat, which was weird because why would a restroom have a seat?

Rachel was watching as Puck carefully leaned her head onto the sink and he unwrapped her hair. He was very gentle, even gentler than her hairdresser. He turned on the faucet and rinsed her hair, even massaged her scalp. Rachel felt tingly. Her skin was starting to warm up and as she looked at Noah, she felt like she could stay in that moment forever. But her thoughts had shifted, and she felt a tug in her tummy when her eyes landed on his fit white t-shirt. It was an undershirt for a reason. She could see his nipple ring, it was pretty rock and roll. She could see his muscles flex from his pectorals to his absurdly lovely guns. It was very disconcerting. Rachel closed her eyes and breathed out, hoping it would calm her. Puck's fingers were doing a great job of relaxing her until her mind twisted and thought, "I wonder what else his hands are great at?"

Puck felt nice doing this to Rachel as it reminded him of the time that she did this for him. Yeah, humiliation sucked but at that moment, Rachel sitting on his lap, his hand on her waist did not. So totally did not. If anything it was a fucking turn on. He knew he was going to choose Glee the moment after she kissed him and walked away because damn, watching her walk away with those sinful legs sent unholy images in his mind faster the speed of light.

Rachel had closed her eyes probably enjoying his magic fingers. Yes, his fingers were very talented and he had a lot of women to testify to that.

Puck is the first boy that Rachel's considered giving herself to. Liking Finn was more like a PG 13 Disney fairy tale while Puck was a very Rated version of Shakespeare.

Rachel's deep breath made her chest rise which Puck watched very intently as she did it again.

Rachel's soft, drenched, brown hair felt nice in his hands. He could actually last like this for a long time. "Rach, do you have shampoo?" he whispered, afraid he'd ruin her serenity.

"Yeah," she answered and it sounded more like mewing than an answer. It turned him on.

"I'll just get it in your bag, ok? Stay here." He said, sounding like he was afraid she'd run away the moment he left her alone.

"Mhhhmmm," she answered as an agreement and it sent shivers down Puck's spine.

Rachel felt very nice. She felt warm in her chest like she'd just drank a nice shot of vodka and a smile so badly wanted to tug at her lips but she wouldn't allow it. She didn't want Puck to find out she was so owned right now… but she couldn't help it, hearing him shuffle in her bag trying to find the shampoo. She brought shampoo for times like these, thank God. She didn't want him to stop just yet.

Puck came back and Rachel was smiling with her eyes closed. It was a tiny smile but he knew it was one—she was just trying to mask it. He put some shampoo into his palms and started with her hair again.

A moan escaped her lips when he was near finished and was massaging her ears. He knew he'd get her there. He turned the faucet off and she didn't seem to be standing up anytime soon. He started drying her hair with his shirt but even then she didn't seem to be standing up soon. She was asleep.

Puck felt great, like he'd finally redeemed himself for all the shit he's done to her since she entered high school. Looking at her smiling, asleep and all serene with her head in the sink made him feel good about himself. After getting Quinn pregnant, it's been hard to feel that.

She didn't even need words to cheer him up.

Puck was stuck in a daze, just staring at how sweet Rachel looked… her lips were so full and pink it made him remember their history. Yes, Puck had a history with Rachel's lips and it was awesome. Puck's bent over, his hands on his knees and his face zooming closer and closer to Rachel. It was a pretty whipped thing to do because Rachel was asleep. His badass thermometer was freezing because Puck did not need girls to fall sleep to kiss them and in fact, there were times he had to be asleep for girls to kiss him. His lips landed, softly on hers and it felt like cotton candy, warm chocolate and strawberries. She smelled like strawberries. He couldn't bring himself to take off his lips, even if his position was really uncomfortable.

Rachel had fallen asleep thanks to Noah's talent of using his hands to its full potential in ANY situation. But she wasn't exactly deeply asleep, so when she felt warm, presumably Noah's lips, pressing on her own, she tried as hard as she can to not move. She didn't want him to know she was awake and do something preposterous like, taking away his lips.

But she couldn't help it and she peeked beneath her lashes. His eyes were closed as well.

When Noah opened his eyes, he wasn't alarmed that Rachel was staring right back. This was a good sign in fact, because she wasn't struggling or slapping or protesting. He opened his mouth slowly, slipping in her lower lip between his lips. He darted out his tongue, sliding the tip at the seam of her lips. Puck's back and knees were starting to ache, but not enough to stop him from this opportunity.

Rachel gulped. She didn't know what this implied, but she didn't want him to stop because she knew based on experience that he was one hell of a kisser. And she missed him. She responded, opening her mouth just a bit so that his tasty, warm tongue could jump right in.

Puck was delighted and a smile broke their kiss momentarily when she'd opened her mouth. He changed their positions in a snap, getting himself in the seat by lifting her up and putting her on his lap.

Rachel gasped at Noah's quick movements and they were now smiling against each other's lips. She draped her arms around his neck and that was the moment she knew, "To hell with missing class."

He put his hand on her waist then the other on her lap, balancing her perfectly as he smiled against her lips. He reclaimed her mouth, exploring it just the way he's wanted to for so long.

Making out in the girl's bathroom is not exactly romantic, but fuck did that matter if both of you were great kissers. It was only when the school bell rang and a bouncy freshman walked in and squealed that they had to shuffle away from each other.

They stared at each other for a split second, lips swollen and faces flushed before leaving the restroom and going to separate classes.

Puck didn't go to class immediately though. Instead, he was pressed against his cold locker trying to cool his dick.

**Literature Class (approximately 3 hours later)**

It was really HER fault. You know, HER. That pop Jewish icon who had kept using the word INGENIUOS during their Literature class when discussing about the iambic pentameter. It was totally her fault why the very language sensitive Ms. Dolores had sent him to Principal Figgins. You see, when he had the chance to recite he dropped major, crunchy F-bombs when describing Shakespeare and his dear, dear William Herbert.

Then again, it was okay since Principal Figgins and he were tight. Ha-ha!

Not really.

Anyway, it was all right, and not just all right, it was awesome, and not just awesome, it was mind blowing GREAT. A minute after of sitting in front of his homie Figgins, the door swung open, and refreshing wind that smelled like lavender hit him. He turned his head and there she was, beautiful and determined.

She burst, "You can't just reprimand a student for saying FUCK! The usage of cuss words such as FUCK, CUNT, BITCH is a result of the evolution of language and thus by limiting our vernacular you suppress our creativity! How is this institution conducive to learning if you limit our language, our very mode fucking expression? Are we not Americans? Is this not land of the free! I have two gay dads, you know! The civil rights union will down on your neck faster before you say fucktard." She huffed and sat right beside him.

"You are one hot motherfucker, you know that?" He was looking at her in awe, his eyes wide, eyebrows raised, and, "I am ironically turned by your bad girl image." He winked at her. Rachel subconsciously bit her lower lips and batted her eyelashes at Puck. She didn't normally do that, it was a slip. Puck whispered to her which very well reminded her of that time in her bedroom when they almost kissed twice when she had a boyfriend, "Let's not keep it professional." Rachel blushed, her mind diving into the gutter with the implications of unprofessional.

Puck was further entranced. It was like Tinkerbell slapped fairy dust on his face.

"Ms. Dolores, what did the children do?" Mr. Figgins leaned back on his chair.

"You should make these children eat soap! They've been sprouting all these bad words in class! I suggest, since you can't use soap, is that you give them detention." Ms. Dolores was a spinster, and that was as far as the explanation went.

Puck elbowed Rachel, "Just what did you say, Berry?"

"I'll tell you later," and she smiled sweetly. Which made Puck want to jump but of course he didn't because that would be lame and he was in public. Not only was her smile magical, but she said later! There was going to be a later. He wondered if he could make out with her again, because that would be awesome.

"Ok, detention it is."

Then that was it, no one argued. Rachel and Puck were going to spend a full hour, together, after school-compulsory.

Rachel's speech didn't get what it deserved, but it was all right because she got an hour with Noah. Sweet. "Thanks Ms. Dolores, you dick deprived old woman," she whispered loud enough for Puck, who was walking beside her, to hear. She was pretending to be sarcastic, but the truth was she might as well get detention everyday as long as he was there, too.

Puck laughed at her dirty big mouth and his mind wondered to how dirty it can get. Puck is still Puck.

Later that day, Puck was antsy in his seat, excited for detention. He would be missing out on a full hour—and if the God permit a day—of Basketball practice and replace it with some Jewish good time. Since she agreed once, she'll probably agree again, you know. Maybe this time he can get to her perky little, perfect boobs.

They saw each other from across the hall and couldn't help but give each other small smiles. They weren't exactly sure about their situation, so it was better to be safe. Since the room to detention was on the way to where Puck was, he stopped in his tracks and waited for Rachel to catch up to him. So they were walking together to detention when Puck said. "So, Rachel I didn't know you had a dirty mouth."

"Oh Noah, there's plenty you don't know about me. I didn't know you knew the word ingenious."

He smiled, "There's plenty you don't know about me, Berry. Maybe we should get to know each other more, huh?"

"Maybe," Rachel said, trying to not show all her cards right away. She had to be careful this time, not saying "Sure!" like she really wanted to. Then again, she's technically said sure already way back in first period.

Arriving at their destination, Puck went in automatically but realized his mistake and went out again, closing the door behind him. He then gave Rachel a dazzling smile and opened the door for her.

Chivalry was one of Noah's strong points when he tried. Rachel raised a skeptical brow and entered the room and found herself a secluded seat that had an empty chair beside it, not that she wanted Puck to sit beside her.

Puck of course, sat beside her.

"So, what did you tell her?"

"I told her that you were only stating facts about Shakespeare most probably sodomizing a young man and that she was being a hypocritical whore."

"You can actually be cool, Rachel. Want to make out Saturday night?" There was no use beating around the bush. Anyway, you can't say that was crossing the line for someone as extremely good looking like Puck. Usually he'd go around girls saying "want to have sex tonight?" and they said yes. Then again, maybe it was a mistake asking her out like that since she was different. Shit, he needs a mental filter or something.

"Sure," Rachel replied. It escaped faster than she could stop herself. Damn it. It's not even the first time she's said that!

**Oooohh! Please review! So few reviews making me want to cancel this shit. Come on, please? **


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